Ask Hank: To compress? Or not to compress? (Hint: Run naked).

Dear Hank,

I have an internal debate each time I get dressed to run. Should I wear compression pants, shirts, and socks? Or should I wear loose fitting shorts with no underwear and a loose marino wool shirt?

Please advise,

Tight and sexy or loose and comfortable in Vermont.

 

Dear Tight and sexy or loose and comfortable in Vermont.

What you’re really touching on is an ancient debate that has been going on since the beginning of the Roman Empire. The Romans believed you should compete naked, unencumbered by any outside forces. Meanwhile, the Greeks (just a few nations over) believed you should be bound tightly while pursuing any sort of physical activity.

Keep in mind, the Romans gave us the Olympics, and the Greeks gave us Marathons. So we have long-lasting legacies from both parties.

Also keep in mind that this is not a serious column, and should never be referenced for historical accuracy unless it’ll be used in a Donald Trump speech.

And then remember that the Romans are obviously in the right. Compete nude. It’s the only way really.

Barefoot and bare-bodied,

Hank.

p.s. No one is sexy when running naked. Not even me (I know that’s hard to believe, but don’t beat yourself up about it).

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